Hello, I’m the Fat Fashionista…

and my boobs are really far apart.

There, I said it.

I believe this is what some people would call one of my many ‘body hang ups’ and, frankly, it’s one that actually gets on my tits (if you will excuse my turn of phrase). I’m a Fat Fashionista. Emphasis there on the word fat. I should be able to cheat my way to a mega cleavage! But oh- hang on, my boobs have a gap of about two inches between them.

I will never, ever forget being told, somewhat smugly, by a bra fitter in a certain high-street chain that ‘sorry, you’ll never get a cleavage, your breasts are too far apart’. I was going to an 18th birthday party and I was wearing a dress with a plungey, extreme v-neck top. Pretty daring for me, and I was feeling really good about it too, because it was from Miss Selfridge and I never fit into MS clothes. In light of the style, I wanted to get a push up or a plunge bra to give myself a little something something (yes, it was only a meal with my all-female friends, but still!). But the minute she deemed my breasts defective ruined the entire experience. I remember crying silently about it that night, too afraid or embarrassed to talk to my mum about it.

Even now I have to be blasé about it, for fear of bursting into a heap of uncontrollable tears.

But wait…

What right does some apparently trained woman have to decide whether or not my boobs are normal? And how does she know I’ll never get a cleavage?

YES my boobs are far apart. But I rock that look, with slight overtones of the botched-boob job, and with the right corsetry my bosom heaves over like any good wench, squeezed into a more than motor-boatable cleavage. More importantly, though- what does it matter? Who decided that boobs need cleavage in order to be ‘acceptable’ and aesthetically pleasing?

For what it’s worth, the bra the woman decided was correct for me was awful. The wiring cut into my ‘too far apart boobs’ enough to leave angry red marks, and don’t even get me started on the state of the centre gore. This is a phenomenon that can be found in large lingerie chains the world over. This information comes courtesy of the wonderful http://felinefataleblog.wordpress.com, who I was pointed towards thanks to the equally wonderful Georgina of http://fullerfigurefullerbust.com.

Is it just me, or do some of their boobs look rather far apart? Regardless, this is shocking.

I think what I want to say, in summary, is this:

Ladies, do not feel you have to take the word of a bra-fitter that feels she needs to cast judgement on you. There are many bra-fitters who are wonderful and know what they’re doing, and can really help you find something that fits. But we’re not all the same. Our boobs come in many shapes and sizes and degrees of firmness and perkiness, and whether you have giant breasts or no breasts, tits do not the woman make. Work whatever you do or don’t have, and work it with confidence. That’s so much more attractive than a cleavage hoiked up far enough for  you to rest your chin on.

About Hannah

I'm Hannah. Almost thirty, qualified teacher. Goth, vegan, Hufflepuff and Hordie. I like bats, skulls, glitter, tombstones, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, mummies, ghouls and zombies, Disney, musicals, Harry Potter and Star Wars.
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